Here is a summary of the four steps of recovering from crisis:

THE 4-STEP ROAD TO RECOVERY

SHOCK: You refuse to believe or understand what has happened; there is a feeling of fantasy, of unreality.

STORM: As the reality of the crisis sets in, you are overwhelmed with emotions. You cry out to God for help in dealing with the loss and pain.

SEARCH: You have poured out your tears and emotions before God and begin to trust Him as He helps you search for and find new beginnings in the aftermath of tragedy.

SEQUEL: The life you will live as a result of the crisis. Your life will be different, but good again.

Here is the entire message, by psychologist and minister Dr. Richard D. Dobbins:

VICTIMS OF VIOLENCE--THE STEPS TO RECOVERY

Crises of natural disaster, war and violent crimes often leave people struggling with recovery. Knowing the process through which you will pass can expedite your recovery. Regardless of the nature of the crisis, all victims follow a similar path to recovery.

SHOCK

The first stage of that recovery process is called shock. For the first few hours you feel like this cannot be real. You say to yourself, "This is a bad nightmare. I am going to wake up and discover that I have been asleep." But the nightmare does not end.

This is the mind's way of protecting us from realities that would overwhelm us. In a way, it is God-given protection; a sort of emotional anesthetic God gives us while we are preparing to deal with the aftermath of the storm. This is a normal part of the healing process. It may last for several hours or sometimes a few days.

When we move out of shock, we begin to realize that the crisis was not a nightmare or a dream; it is real. We are going to have to deal with it. In order to get from where we have been to where we are going to be, we are going to have to go through a storm.

STORM

The second stage of crisis recovery is the storm. It is a terribly uncomfortable period that may last from several weeks to several months. Emotions erupt unpredictably during the storm phase. Fear, anger, rage, and anxiety hit you with intensely and in proportions you have never before experienced. During this time when you feel so overwhelmed, you need to repeat to yourself that little phrase that the Holy Spirit repeats so often in the New Testament--"and it came to pass."

I have said to myself many times when I have been going through storms in my own life, "Thank God it did not come to stay."

I remember a friend of mine from the West Coast telling me that when he was going through storms in his life, he would drive out U.S. Highway 101 until he came to the forest of giant redwood trees that line that route for miles.

He would park his car and walk out into the woods until he could see nothing except those giant redwoods. Then, he would look up as far as he could, seeing nothing but the massive trunks and remind himself of how long they had been there--many of them since the time of Christ.

He would think of how many storms had blown in from the sea and tested their strength; some of those storms were extremely violent. The storms had passed, but the trees were still there. They had not only withstood those storms, they had grown taller and stronger through them.

God wants you to grow stronger and taller as a result of the storms through which you are passing. If you are going through the storm stage of recovering from some tragedy in your life, and your feelings are so strong that you fear they will tear you apart, tell yourself that story and remind yourself that storms pass.

As Christians, we have a way to deal with those overwhelming feelings that rage during the storm. We can give ourselves to prayer. God will listen to you talk about anything you want to talk to Him about, any way you want to talk about it. That is the wonderful thing about our Heavenly Father. If you get into the middle 50s to the middle 60s in the Book of Psalms, you will read about David go to God in the storms of his life and just let the billows roll out of his heart.

In those psalms, David does not try to hide or mask his anger. So many times in the church today, Christians do not know how to deal with anger. You may ask them, "When certain crises happen to you, it must make you angry does not it?" They will say, "No, it does not make me angry, it just hurts me."

Often, we make people feel guilty about having angry feelings, even when storms are raging in their lives. David was not the least bit hesitant about saying to God, "You know what my enemies are doing to me. You know how much I despise them. Grind their teeth off in their mouths. They are like a bunch of dogs barking around my camp at night. Cut their seed off." (See Psalms 58 and 59.)

Feelings like that are never safer than in our expression of them to God. If we expressed such feelings to other people, many of them would never forget them and might have a hard time forgiving us.

We can go to God in prayer when we are going through the storms of life and let those billows of emotion just roll out in His presence. He is there and He understands. He knows how He has felt when His children have misbehaved; He knows the anger He has had--and yet, thankfully, His mercy is greater than His wrath.

Through the storm phase, you want to learn to talk to God honestly about your painful experiences and express your honest feelings about those who may have inflicted them on you.

SEARCH

I often advise people who are going through the storm phase of recovery to pray through their feelings. This puts them in the third stage of recovery, the search.

The first step in "praying through" is to talk to God honestly about your pain. In order to help people do this, I encourage them to write a letter to those responsible for their pain--a letter they never intend to mail. Then I ask them to read that letter to God in prayer.

This brings them to step two. Pour your feelings out to God. This can help bring God's healing into their lives. As you read the letter to God express your feelings to Him until you are emotionally spent in prayer. Some of the "old-timers" used to call this "praying through." That is, you got to the place where you cried all you can cry, prayed all you can pray, and are emotionally spent.

Then you are ready for step three. Meditate for the Lord to give you a new way of looking at your old hurt. Allow Him to comfort you and bring you to a less painful way of looking at your trauma.

You know, Satan wants you to see what you are going through as the most destructive thing you have ever experienced--an experience from which you will never recover. Pain does not need to kill; it can also give birth. While the pain and crisis may bring an end to certain things in your life, it also can bring a magnificent new beginning--if you stay soft and pliable in God's hands. He will give you a new way of looking at the old hurt.

SEQUEL

Step four is simply to spend time thanking and praising God for the new way of looking at your old hurt.

I have seen many people in counseling who are suffering experiences similar to what you may be going through. They thought they would never recover, but they are on the other side of it now. They have passed through shock, storm, and search, and are now living in the sequel of their crisis. What the enemy would have used to make them bitter people, God used to make them better people. Now the Lord is leading them into a new dimension in their lives.

Praying through is a wonderful way to allow His healing grace to come to you in the storms of your life. You will finally come to the sequel--your life after the storm.

Dr. Richard D. Dobbins Founder and President of EMERGE Ministries, Inc. Akron, Ohio.

Host of "From This Day Forward" radio program.

Copyright (c) 2001 - Media Ministries of the Assemblies of God and Dr. Richard D. Dobbins. Used by permission.

Other related links:
Media Ministries . . . Day Forward . . . Emerge Ministries.

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Copyright (c) 2001 Media Ministries of the Assemblies of God. Reprinted with permission. "DayForward" is a radio ministry of Media Ministries of the Assemblies of God, Springfield, Missouri.

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Music credit: Songs of Praise.