1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who finds such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him alot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change and she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are two times when a man deosn't understand a woman: before marriage and after.
--Author unknown; found circulating in email.
Somewhere between the call of God and the sick ward of the local hospital
there exists a specialist in everything, variously called a "minister," a
"preacher." a "pastor." a "clergyman." He is a hero to his wife, a
stranger to his children, a fine boy to his mother, an "easy touch" to
down-and-outers, a name on the mailing list of hundreds of agencies and
organizations, an example to his flock.
To some people he's a fuddy-duddy, to some he's a stuffed shirt, to some
he's a character who has never lived it up, to some he's "Reverend," to
some he's a guy who has nothing else to do but get ready for a
twenty-minute sermon once a week.
To some he's the person in whose presence you must not cuss, drink, or
smoke.
To others he is a dear friend, a "johnny-on-the spot" when death's angel
hovers near; he's the one whose ministry continues when a loved one dies;
he's the man who can mend marriages, but who can't find time to fix his
wife's toaster; he's the nice man at church who pats the babies' heads,
even though he's not running for a political office.
He's the one who marries young lovers, prays with the sick, and buries the
dead.
He's a financial expert, a public orator, janitor, errand boy, typist,
file clerk, writer, public relations expert, poor golfer, professional
tea-sipper and punch-drinker, journalist, reformer, evangelist, pastor,
business executive, counselor, prophet, bookworm, diplomat, human being,
bass, tenor, planner, teetotaler, and usually a terrible golfer!
Ministers are found everywhere -- preaching in church, listening in
meetings, teaching a class, looking at a clock, not looking at a clock,
giving invocations, giving benedictions, waiting in maternity wards,
sympathizing beside caskets, standing behind pulpits, pleading causes,
serving on committees, studying the Bible, playing football with the kids
on the vacant lot near the church, watching someone take a final breath,
sitting behind a desk, lying underneath a car, standing on the roof of
buildings under construction, meditating, dreaming, at home at dinner
time, not at home at dinner time, standing before women's groups,
delivering addresses, meeting in conventions, diagnosing the world's
sickness and prescribing the cure -- Jesus.
--Author unknown.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
