Have you got a funny bone or two? Can fun connect with faith? You'd better believe it...."Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!

Please note: Humor pieces are meant to be funny - no offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves; please do not take the humor personal or offensive.

"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... (Proverbs 17:22)."

Women's Vocabulary!

FINE:
This is the word we use to end an argument. "Fine" means that the argument is over, we are right, you should shut up. Never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES:
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING:
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH:
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing there and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH:
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH:
This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says, "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY:
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding on your punishment for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO:
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS:
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say, "You're welcome."

THANKS A LOT:
This is much different than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful >not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

--Author unknown - found circulating in email.

Today's Faith 'n Truth-Builder
"...building up yourselves on your most holy faith... (Jude 20)."

"Where Was God in All of This?"

First of all, God was trying to discourage anyone from taking this flight. Those four flights together held over 1000 passengers and there was only 266 aboard.

God was on 4 commercial flights giving terrified passengers the ability to stay calm. Not one of the family members who was called by a loved one on one of the high-jacked planes said that passengers were screaming in the background.

On one of the flights God was giving strength to passengers to try to overtake the highjackers.

God was busy trying to create obstacles for employees at the World Trade Center. After all only around 20,000 were at the towers when the first jet hit. Since the buildings hold over 50,000 workers, this was a miracle in itself.

How many of the people who were employed at the WTC told the media that they were late for work or they had traffic delays?

God was holding up 2-110 story buildings so that 2/3 of the workers could get out. It was so amazing that the top of the towers didn't topple when the jets impacted.

God was in the rescue workers who were running into the buildings as most people were running out.

God was in the flight attendant who called her husband as her plane was being hijacked to tell him that she loved him.

God was in the two men who carried a wheelchair-bound woman down 70 flights of stairs to safety.

God was in the people who stood bleeding, in line to give blood.v God was in the strangers in cars, picking up strangers stranded in the city and taking them home to their families.

God is in the people who are begging to volunteer, to do anything to help.

God is in the thousands, if not millions who are flooding blood banks thousands of miles away to help people they have never met.

God is in the people who are comforting someone even when they don't know what to say.

God is in the people who watched and cried for people who may remain anonymous in name, but never in their sacrifice.

God is in my neighborhood where I see flags waving from every home.

God is in the men and women, looking at 110 stories of rubble, and seeing only the opportunity to find survivors.

God is with the heroes, most of whom will never be on the news, whose stories will only be told to their closest friends and family; but who saved someone's mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, husband, wife, grandmother, grandfather, aunt, uncle, cousin, lover, colleague, acquaintance, teacher, mentor or friend with a single act of kindness, compassion and bravery.

God was not in the hearts of the people that caused these inhumane events. However, God was indeed there, where he was needed the most.

-- Author Unknown

-- Selected from Email Ministry.

Inspiration, News, Devotionals, Humor & More to Start Your Day!

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Reverend Fun--Another fun Christian cartoon of the day!
Pastor Tim's Clean Laugh List--a daily email humor list

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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.

Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.

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