Vets Office:
"All unattended children will be given a free kitten."
Plumber's Truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
Pizza Shop Slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one Weak."
On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On The Door of a Plastic Surgeon's Office:
"Hello ... can we pick your nose?"
In the Yellow Pages under 'Psychic':
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg
... We only want your tows."
Billboard on the Side of the Road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop
reading these signs."
In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke we will assume you are on
fire and take appropriate action."
At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place."
On a Taxidermist's Window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a fence:
"Salesmen Welcome
... Dog food is expensive."
Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary
... we'll hear you coming."
In a Veterinarians Waiting Room:
"Be back in 5 minutes ... Sit! ... Stay!"
Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet
... we need to hear a pin drop."
In the Front Yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully ... we can wait."
In a Counselor's Office:
"Growing old is mandatory
... growing wise is optional.
--Author unknown.
1- Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the
sun every year.
2- Birthdays are good for you: the more you have the longer you live.
3- Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.
4- You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to
one person.
5- Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
6- A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
7- Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
8- We could learn a lot from crayons: Some are sharp, some are pretty, some
are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors.... But they
all have to learn to live in the same box.
- Author Unknown. Found circulating in email.
