* You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into
the room.
* You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
* You call Olan Mills before they call you.
* Your arms are too short to read the newspaper.
* You sing along with the elevator music.
* You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
* You think a CD is a certificate of deposit.
* You know what the word 'equity' means.
* The only jogging you do is to your memory.
* You have a party, and the neighbors don't even know it.
--Author unknown.
--Selected from Net153.com "Sunday Funnies".
Bob and the angel of the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team. The Lord's team was at bat; the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the ninth inning with two outs. They watched as a batter stepped up to the plate whose name was Love.
Love swung at the fist pitch and hit a single, because Love never fails.
The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love.
The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch. Godly wisdom looked it over and let it pass. Ball one! Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked, because Godly Wisdom never swings at what Satan throws.
The bases are loaded. The angel turned to Bob and told him that the Lord was now going to send in His star player. Up to bat stepped Grace. Bob said, "He sure doesn't look like much!"
Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, GRACE HIT THE BALL HARDER THAN ANYONE HAD EVER SEEN. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing to the ground. Then it continued over the fence for a home run!
The Lord's team won. The angel then asked Bob if he knew why Love Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base, but could not win the game. Bob answered that he did not know why. The angel explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself.
Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base, but only God's Grace can get you home. His Grace is the only thing Satan cannot steal."
27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand. John 10
-- Author Unknown.
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