There is the story of a person who got up one Sunday and announced
to his congregation: I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we
have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is,
it's still out there in your pockets. : )
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While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust.
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?" A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked. "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
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A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man,sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute toÊget ready for a long trip. The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean;same in my business."
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People want the front of the bus, back of the church & center ofÊattention.
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Somebody once figured out that we have 35 million laws trying to enforce
10 commandments.
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A minister parked his car in a no -- parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. So he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: I have circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES. When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note. I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION.
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A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' What the Bible means?" The son replied, "I do know!" "Okay," said his father. "So, what does the Bible mean?" "Daddy, It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth."
--found circulating the Net via email.
A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a
Christian?"
The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God
picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all
the dirt off of you. Then he cuts off the top and
scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of
doubt,
hate, greed, etc., and then He carves you a new smiling
face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all
the world to see."
--Selected from God@Work newsletter. God@Work is a ministry of St Mark's United Methodist Church, 8550 Pioneers Blvd., Lincoln Nebraska 68520 U.S.A.
To Subscribe, send email to godatwork-subscribe@egroups.com
Note: "The Gospel in a Pumpkin" was later found to be written by Liz Curtis Higgs and we wish to give appropriate credit.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
