1) It is impossible to lick your elbow.
2) A crocodile can't stick it's tongue out.
3) A shrimp's heart is in their head.
Ê4) People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your
heart stops for a millisecond.
5) In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one
reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or
attempted to do so - apart from Bones).
6) It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
7) A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
8) More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received
a telephone call.
9) Rats and horses can't vomit.
10) The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the
toughest tongue twister in the English language.
11) If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib.
12) If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your
head or neck and die.
13) If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.
14) Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over
million descendants.
15) Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your
ear by 700 times.
16) If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14,
ÊÊÊÊSection 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16,
1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with
extraterrestrials or their vehicles?
17) The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
18) Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
19) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
20) 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting
on them and photocopying their posterior.
21) In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70
assorted insects and 10 spiders.
22) Most lipstick contains fish scales.
23) Cat's urine glows under a black- light.
24) Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.
25) Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
--Author unknown; found circulating the Net via email.
A man dies and goes to Heaven. Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.
St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."
"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."
"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"
"Three points?" he says, slightly concerned. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."
"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point."
"One point!?!" he moans, now really getting worried. "Well, I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."
"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.
"Two points!" the man cries. "At this rate the only way I get into Heaven is by the grace of God!"
St. Peter nods and says, "Bingo! 100 points! Come on in, my son!"
--Selected from Mikey's Funnies.
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
