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It's Time for Tickles 'n Truth A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature
"Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
NOTE: Humor pieces are meant to be funny. No offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves, so please just laugh along with us!
Today's Tickles: "Searching for a Pastor!?!"
We do not have a happy report to give, as we have not been able to find a suitable candidate for Pastor of this Church, though we have one promising prospect. We appreciate all the suggestions from the Church Members so we've followed up each one with interviews or calling at least 3 references. The following is our confidential report on the candidates:
01)- ADAM: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how he and his wife enjoy walking nude in the woods.
02)- NOAH: Former pastorate of 120 years with no converts. Prone to unrealistic building projects.
03)- ABRAHAM: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man's wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.
04)- JOSEPH: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting and has a prison record.
05)- MOSES: A modest meek man, but poor communicator, stuttering at times. Some times blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier Church over a murder charge.
06)- DAVID: The most promising leader of all until we discovered he had an affair with his neighbor's wife.
07)- SOLOMON: Great preacher but our parsonage would never hold all those wives.
08)- ELIJAH: Prone to depression - collapses under pressure.
09)- ELISHA: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former Church.
10)- HOSEA: A tender loving pastor but our people could never handle his wife's occupation.
11)- DEBORAH: Female.
12)- JEREMIAH: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, and reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.
13)- ISAIAH: On the fringe? Claims to have seen Angels in Church. Has trouble with his language.
14)- JONAH: Refused GOD'S call into ministry until he was forced to obey by getting swallowed up by a great fish. He told us the fish later spit him out on the shore near here. We hung up.
15)- AMOS: Too backward and unpolished. With some seminary training he might have promise, but has a hang-up against wealthy people -- might fit in better with a poor congregation.
16)- JOHN: Says he is a Baptist, but definitely doesn't dress like one.Has slept in the outdoors for months on end, has weird diet, and provokes denominational leaders.
17)- PETER: Too blue collar. Has a bad temper -- even has been known to curse. Had a big run-in with Paul in Antioch. Aggressive, but a loose cannon.
18)- PAUL: Powerful CEO type leader and fascinating preacher; however, short on tact, unforgiving with young ministers, harsh and has been known to preach all night.
19)- TIMOTHY: Too young.
20)- YAHSHUA: Has had popular times, but once when his Church grew to 5,000 he managed to offend them all and his Church dwindled down to 12 people. Seldom stays in one place very long. And of course, he's single.
21)- JUDAS: His references are solid. A steady plodder. Conservative. Good connections. Knows how to handle money. We're inviting him to preach this Sunday. Possibilities here.
--Author unknown; found circulating the Net via email.
Today's Truth: "I Wish You Enough!"
Recently, I overheard a father & daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the security gate, they hugged and he said, "I love you. I wish you enough."
She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed and she left.
He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever???"
"Yes, I have," I replied. Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.
"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye," I asked.
"I am old, and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead, and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral," he said.
"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say 'I wish you enough.'"
"May I ask what that means???"
He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment, and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish you enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye."
He then began to sob and walked away.
Dear God@Work readers, we wish you ENOUGH this day through the love and grace found in Christ Jesus!!!!!
Selected from God@Work newsletter. God@Work is a ministry of St Mark's United Methodist Church, 8550 Pioneers Blvd., Lincoln Nebraska 68520 U.S.A. To Subscribe, send email to firstname.lastname@example.org
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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