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It's Time for Tickles 'n Truth
A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature
"Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
NOTE: Humor pieces are meant to be funny. No offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves, so please just laugh along with us!
Today's Tickles: "Why I Am So Tired!"
I'm tired.For a couple of years I've been blaming it on my iron-poor blood, lack of vitamins and dieting, and a dozen other maladies. But now I found out the real reason I'm tired is because I'm overworked.
The population of the USA is 237 million. 104 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leave 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government. This leaves 19 million to do the work.
Four million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 15 million to do the work.
Take from that total the 14,800,000 people who work for state and city governments and that leaves 200,000 to do the work.
There are 188,000 in hospitals, so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 11,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work. You and me.
And you're sitting there reading this.
--Author unknown; selected from Mikey's Funnies.
"Lean Mean Green Machine" -------------------------------------------------------
"ByLine with Dan Betzer" Program # 2298 -
Release Wednesday, July 24, 2002
-------------------------------------------------------
Early in this baseball season, Los Angeles Dodger Shawn Green was awful. He had not had a single hit in 15 at-bats. Green had not hit a home run in 89 times at the plate and did not even hit a ball out of the infield in five games. He had more strikeouts (39) than hits (35) and he had grounded into 12 double plays.Things looked bleak, but Green is not a quitter. On May 19, things started to turn around. That day, he hit a double in six at-bats; not much, but it is a start. The next night, he homered twice and threw out a runner at the plate. The following night he tripled, driving in the only run in a 1-0 game. Then came Thursday. In six trips to the plate, Green hit four home runs--only the 14th time that this feat has ever been done in the majors. He added a single and a double as well. He scored all six times, which tied a major league mark.
Green's total bases that one night: 19 bases, batting only six times. The next night, he got two singles and a homer. That following Saturday, he knocked in six runs with a single and two more homers, giving him seven home runs in three games! No one had ever done that before.
There is no telling what Shawn Green will do during the rest of this season. Good friend, you cannot quit just because you struck out during your last time up. You have to keep swinging that bat and digging in at the plate.
Read your Bible. A lot of great people in it struck out before their greatest moments. Hang in there today! Yes, you may strike out again, but sooner or later, the ball is going to go out of the park.
--Selected from "ByLine with Dan Betzer," a two-minute daily program heard on radio stations nationwide, with a free email subscription.
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If you would like to sponsor a ByLine broadcast in your area, call (417) 869-8829. Copyright (c) 2002 Media Ministries of the Assemblies of God. Used by permission.
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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