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"Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
PLEASE NOTE: Humor pieces are meant to be funny - no offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves; please do not take the humor personal or offensive.
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"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... (Proverbs 17:22)."
"Aging Gracefully!?!"I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts until 8 p.m I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.
I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I am going.
I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, beano, antacid........
I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.
I'm very good at telling stories.....over and over and over and over.
I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.
I'm so cared for: long term care, eye care, private care, dental care....
I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, crowds, children, politicians...
(For the ladies) I'm positive I did housework correctly before my mate retired.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm having trouble remembering simple words like.........
I'm now spending more time with my pillows than with my mate.
I'm realizing that aging is not for sissies....
I'm anti-everything now: anti-fat, anti-smoke, anti-noise, anti-inflammatory.....
I'm walking more (to the bathroom) and enjoying it less.
I'm sure they are making adults much younger these days.
I'm in the initial stage of my golden years: SS, CD's, IRA'S, AARP.....
I'm supporting all movements now.... by eating bran, prunes, and raisins.
I'm a walking storeroom of facts.....I've just lost the storeroom.
I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having the time of my life!!!
Now if I could only remember who sent this to me, I would send it to many more! You didn't, did you???????
For you younger people, this is just to let you know what is coming.
--Selected from Pastor Tim's CleanLaughs.
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Thanks for the cybersalt award, Pastor Tim . . . . . . Visit Pastor Tim's great CleanLaugh site!
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"Ten Principles for a Blessed Day!"1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK . . .
If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind, I will not respond in a like manner.
2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY 'ENEMY'
If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand "enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker or stranger.
3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY . . .
I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip.
4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE . . .
I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE . . .
I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING KIND FOR SOMEONE, (BUT I WILL DO IT IN SECRET . . . )
I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.
7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED . . .
I will practice the golden rule. "Do Unto others as I would have them do unto me"- with EVERYONE I encounter.
8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE WHO IS DISCOURAGED . . .
My smile, my words, my expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling with life.
9. TODAY I WILL NURTURE MY BODY . . .
I will eat less . . . I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.
10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLY . . .
I will spend a little more time in prayer today. I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational; I will find a quiet place (at some point during this day) and listen to God's voice.
Luke 10:27: He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
We learn three principles about loving our neighbor: (1) lack of love is often easy to justify, even though it is never right; (2) our neighbor is anyone of any race, creed, or social background who is in need; and (3) love means acting to meet the person's needs. Wherever you live, there are needy people close by. There is no good reason for refusing to help.
Remember, today is a gift from God so treat it preciously.
--Selected from God@Work newsletter. God@Work is a ministry of St Mark's United Methodist Church, 8550 Pioneers Blvd., Lincoln Nebraska 68520 U.S.A.
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All Scriptures are taken from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.Humor and inspiration in Tickles 'n Truth are extracted from items that circulate around the Web. Many authors are unknown; I do not claim copyright privileges on the articles used. Should you know the author of a certain piece, please notify me that I may give proper credit.
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