The elderly pastor was searching his closet for his collar
before church one Sunday morning. In the back of the closet,
he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He
called his wife into the closet to ask her about the box and
its contents. Embarassed, she admitted having hidden the box
for their entire 25 years of marriage. Disappointed and hurt,
the pastor asked her, "WHY?"
The wife replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings.
He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She
said that everytime during their marriage that he delivered a
poor semon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt
that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel
bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for.
She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the
neighbors for $1.
--Selected from "The Good, Clean Funnies List.
There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an
old shotgun and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out
and kill something for dinner.
As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit and he shot at the rabbit
and missed it. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the
squirrel and missed it. As he went further, he saw a wild turkey in
the tree and he had only one bullet, but a voice came to him and
said "pray first, aim high and stay focused."
However, at the same time, he saw deer which was a better kill. He
brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattle
snake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the
gun down further to shoot the rattle snake.
Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'pray, aim high and stay
focused." So, the man decided to listen to the voice. He prayed, then
aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The
bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell
off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.
And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he
stood to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and
a turkey to eat. The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man
listened to God.
***Bottom line: Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high
in your goals, and stay focused on God. Never let others discourage
you concerning your past. The past is exactly that - " the past."
Live every day one day at a time. And remember that only God knows
our future and that he will not put you through any more than you can
bear. Do not look to people for your blessings but look to the Lord.
He can open doors for you that only He is able to do. Doors that you
will not slip through but doors that only He has prepared in advance
for you in your favor. Wait, and be still, patient:
keep God first and everything else will follow.
P.S. When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,
"Jesus, could you please get that for me?"
"Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, then all these
things shall be added unto you." Matthew 6:33
PRAYER:
Precious Lord, help us to relaize that when we place you first in our
lives, everything else falls into place. Amen.
--Selected from
God@Work newsletter, a ministry of St Mark's United Methodist Church, 8550 Pioneers Blvd., Lincoln Nebraska 68520 U.S.A. e-mail: info@stmarks.org.
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A Fun, Faith 'n Funny Bone Feature 
