You know you're living in the 00's when: -
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family
of three.
4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that
they do not have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still
answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally
insert a "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for
three different companies.
9. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
10. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
11. You learn about your redundancy on the 11 o'clock news.
12. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost
all of your best jokes.
13. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
14. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more
likely to get long-service awards.
15. Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World
countries annual budgets combined.
16. Interviewees, despite not having relevant knowledge or
experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting
salary.
17. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
18. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop
with all the latest features, while you have time to go for
lunch while yours boots up.
19. Being sick is defined as you can't walk or you're in
hospital.
20. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent
staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford
four full-time management consultants advising your boss's
boss on strategy.
21. Your relatives and family describe your job as "works
with computers".
AND THE CLINCHERS ARE..
22. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
23. As you read this list, you think about forwarding the link to
your "friends".
24. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen
this list already, but you don't have time to check so you
forward it anyway.
25. You got this link from a friend that never talks to you
anymore, except to send you jokes from the net.
--Found circulating the Web!
"All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is
profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for
instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be
complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2
Timothy 3:16ñ17, NKJV).
When in college ... quite a few years ago now, in my ethics
class, I learned that if anything is helpful to a person or
persons physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially or
spiritually, it is right. On the other hand, if anything is
harmful to any person or persons (including myself)
physically, intellectually, emotionally, socially or
spiritually, it is wrong. An even greater standard and the
absolute authority for correct ethics is that which is based
on God's Word, the Bible.
When we consider the recent Enron affair and some of the
questionable judging ethics at the Olympic Games, we cannot
help but wonder about the lack of ethics in today's world.
In spite of what modern secularists tell us -- that people
are basically good and with education we will continue to
improve, scandals like this have always been with us and
always will be because we are sinners. And in a society
where we don't teach the difference between right and wrong,
where moral absolutes have been abandoned, and where our
ethics are based on that which is convenient rather than on
what is right and what is wrong, let's not be surprised when
we continue to see fraudulent scandals.
For we who claim to be followers of Jesus, let us be sure to
base our ethics regarding what is right and what is wrong on
the Word of God, and with his help, always strive to live in
harmony with the principles found therein.
Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please give me a love for your
Word and, as David said, 'hide it in my heart so I won't sin
against you.' Help me to establish and live according to
ethics based on your Word so that I will never bring shame
to your name. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer.
In Jesus' name, Amen."
--From
Daily Encounter (c) Dick Innes 2002. Subscribe here.
