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Have you got a funny bone or two? Can fun connect with faith? You'd better believe it...."Funny Bone Faith" sees humor--AND faith--in the tough times and with God's help, smiles through tears as it triumphs in a Lord who brings joy and laughter to our lives--daily! Enjoy the fun and inspiration--and strengthen YOUR "Funny Bone Faith" right here--today!
Please note: Humor pieces are meant to be funny - no offense is meant with regard to age, sex, race, religion, occupation or any other topic. It is simply a way of laughing at ourselves; please do not take the humor personal or offensive.
"A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... (Proverbs 17:22)."
"Women Drivers--Hazard on the Highways!?!"
Driving to town this morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Mustang, doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror, putting on eyeliner!!
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back, she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup!
It scared me so bad I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand. In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car, using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my other ear and fell into my coffee between my legs and DISCONNECTED AN IMPORTANT CALL!!!!
DRAT THOSE WOMEN DRIVERS!!!!
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"God's Big 'Do Not Touch' Sign!"
A WORD WITH YOU
By Ron Hutchcraft
#3918 - "God's Big 'Do Not Touch' Sign"
For several years, our offices were located on the third floor of an old factory building. An alley ran behind our building, and there was an antique elevator that was useful if you had to transport things to that third floor. Now, if you parked back there, you had to walk by this big old electrical thing that was surrounded by a chain link fence - with a sign that had these words in big print: "High voltage. Do not touch." I never knew anybody who disregarded those instructions.
Well, I'm Ron Hutchcraft and I want to have A WORD WITH YOU today about "God's Big 'Do Not Touch' Sign."
When there's something really hazardous, there's often a "do not touch" sign on it, put there by people who know how much harm it can do. God has put a sign like that on some things that may not appear harmful on the outside, but which carry deadly spiritual voltage.
One of His "do not touch" signs is in our word for today from the Word of God in Deuteronomy 18, beginning with verse 10. God says, "Let no one be found among you who sacrifices his son in the fire, who practices divination." By the way, the dictionary says that divination is "attempting to foretell future events or discover hidden knowledge by supernatural means." Then God says, "There should be no one who practices sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead." Then, just in case you think God takes any of this lightly, the Bible has this sobering conclusion: "Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord." Strong language!
It's obvious that God hates this stuff - because all the non-God approaches to the supernatural are controlled by the devil. Now as you heard that list, you may have thought about how much those "do not touch" things are all throughout our culture, with a sign on them that says, "Touch me. I'm harmless. I'm exciting. I'm just something to do for fun."
It can be a slumber party seance, a ouija board, consulting a horoscope, or crystals. You can find sorcery and witchcraft in compelling fantasy games, in best-selling books, in popular TV shows, and in blockbuster movies that are a "must" for every child to see and every parent to take their child to. We're told it's good for the imagination and it's harmless fantasy.
Read those verses again and see if God agrees. He calls all the supernatural stuff that isn't from Him "detestable." And having dealt with a lot of young people who have ended up unwittingly trapped in occult darkness, I know some of why God hates it. He knows how Satan works. He doesn't ever tell you about what's in his deadly package - he just gets you interested in his bright and seemingly irresistible wrapping paper. The devil is simply looking for a foot in the door - and for many, that opening has been just an "innocent" curiosity about the other side, a little fantasy experience or simple experimentation that opened a door that should have always remained locked. That's why God says in Ephesians 5:10, "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness."
The occult, the dark side, the "supernatural without God" - they're just not something to flirt with or to mess with. We have nothing to lose from avoiding them and so much to lose potentially by exposing ourselves or our children to them. It is spiritual high voltage, no matter how interesting or inviting it looks. And when God says, "Do not touch," He means it!
--Written by Ron Hutchcraft, based on his popular radio broadcast, "A Word With You" .
Copyright (c) 2002, Ron Hutchcraft. Permission to distribute this material via email, or individual copies, is automatically granted on the condition it will be used for non-commercial purposes, and will not be sold. To reproduce "A Word With You" transcripts in any other format, including Internet websites, written permission is needed from Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc.
Copyright (c) 2002, Ron Hutchcraft. Reprinted with permission. "A Word With You" is a radio outreach of Ron Hutchcraft Ministries, Inc.
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